The Magic Of Counter Spells-Part Two

You may be developing, or have developed, skills at blocking the negative feelings that well up inside you to zap your energy and self esteem. I wrote about the power of 'tapping' on meridians or acupressure points to help with this. These feelings are often there because of wounds from the past. It is also good to develop skill at preventing those cutting words from impacting you in the present. Some people use anger and defensive methods to stop people from spouting their anti-magic, such as shouting them down or saying 'talk to the hand'. I would like to suggest a couple of other techniques, derailing and fogging. Fogging is when you fog up the speaker's thinking by confusing them. One example is to show that you don't take their 'stuff' seriously by looking at them and saying, 'You may be right'. When they can't get a raise out of you it takes the air out of their sails. Example: 'You will never be any good,' 'You may be right'. There really is nothing they can say and you can just walk away. Derailing also messes with the other person's thinking but in a more subtle way. People tend to operate in certain sensory modalities. A visual person will speak and think visually: I see how we should do this, I view this as something we should see eye to eye on. An aural person will speak in terms of hearing or sound. A kinesthetic person will operate in terms of feeling or movement. If you can do something to derail them or switch their channel while they are running on with the hurts or insults they will lose their train of thought. A common derailing movement is to wave your hands quickly in front of their eyes. Once I was a waitress at a hotel dining room where many of the patrons wanted to tell me things, not necessarily important things, at great length. I found that if I waved my hand in front of their eyes as I served them or took away their plate they would stop talking for a minute and I could move away to serve the next patron. They would be lost in the past and my hand movement, in the present time, broke their train of thought. Many times parents manage to stop a toddler's tantrums by a quick smile and hug. The surprise and switch is very effective. Distractions can be a very effective counter-spell. So if you have people in your life who are throwing barbs and arrows at you find ways to deal with it. You are too precious to be wounded. Strengthen your armor of self esteem and self love. Then find ways to keep the barbs from piercing you. You don't need to react with insults or anger. That can back fire on you. Find counter spells like a smile, a hug, fogging or derailing and use them wisely. May the spark be with you.

Magic Of Dialogue

Words are meant to be heard, or read. They are meant for a dialogue. Even as we think them or speak them we are engaging in an inner dialogue with ourselves. Neither people or words are meant to exist in a vacuum. But it is a miracle when communication is clear and exchange of ideas really does take place between two people. I had an acquaintance once who would be clearly in the throes of anger but would be saying fairly calm words. If the listener mentioned that he seemed to be angry and could that be resolved, the answer would be, "Listen to my words, not my face." He was able to be controlled enough that he could choose words he hoped would steer the conversation where he thought it should go. Other times I have known people who seemed unable to enter into any give and take either, were extremely emotional about it as well, but would go on for multiple sentences trying to find some point, somehow, somewhere. In none of those cases was it likely that an actual conversation was going to take place. The key point here is that THE FIRST EXCHANGE IS NOT THE FULL EXCHANGE. It takes listening, exchange of message, more listening, clarification as to what was heard, reshaping of message and ideas in order to have dialogue. It is a great life skill. One that can always be improved upon. Reach out for the energy of the spark of magic that abounds around you and try to engage in dialogue with others. It will enrich your life. May the spark be with you.

The Magic Is In The Message

When you tell something to someone the communication link is not complete until they have accepted or understood what you have to say. The best principal I ever had, when I was teaching, used to say that we hadn't taught a subject until the children had learned it. The way we use our voice, the timing of our communication, eye contact are all important along with the content of what we say. It is important to be on the same wavelength as the person you are trying to communicate with. It is important that you be clear in your own mind what you want to communicate. But you need to get an idea of what it is the other person wants to or will hear. One way to get an understanding of the other person is to note their speed. If they talk and walk slowly they probably like to listen to a slow rhythm of speech. You can also note whether they are partial to one sensory mode over another. If a man talks about 'seeing things a certain way', 'looking at the big picture','having some color in his life' he is apt to be partial to his visual senses. Do not jolt his visual realm by giving him things that are hard to look at and do not talk to him about 'feeling your way on a project' and then expect him to listen to you fully.
The main sensory modes for communication are visual, aural, and kinesthetic. Or eyes, ears and muscles/feelings. One who talks about being 'in on the action' will think and communicate along the lines of body involvement in other ways, for example.
So reach out for a magical life by refining your communication in ways that build good relationships.