The Magician's Cloak-Part Two

Our magician's cloak may seem too thin at times or even threadbare. Thinking of the cloak as self-love or self-acceptance it must be admitted that those traits in our character can be stronger or weaker at times. We may even wonder how to develop them. Here are points to consider about self-love. *Giving into our appetites is not self love. While at times a glass of wine, a bit of chocolate, a good book, or a bit of good loving can be a celebration of life at other times it can be overboard. Too much of a good thing can be destructive. *Being careful about the promises we make to ourselves and then keeping them can be a great way to develop self love. *In tapping, when the tappee says 'even tho' I have this problem of....I accept myself deeply' the inner self will eventually develop a lot of strength and feeling of self acceptance. *affirmations of self acceptance are also effective. *Even tho' both tapping and affirmations bring up self doubt the ultimate result is less doubt and more acceptance. *Bragging is not a sign of self love. We may get a great idea but it is better to say 'I am going to consider putting this idea into effect" than to say,"I am going to do this great thing.' Bragging is a sign of weakness. It is great to say 'I feel good about what I have done.' but that is simply truth. This is different from saying "I am really hot stuff because I did thus and so." *Self acceptance can also grow through introspection and meditation. *I have found that when I face a problem and succeed in dealing with it I like to stop and thank myself for coming through for me. This little pause and thank you has added to my belief that I can be there for myself. *Grandiose labels are not needed. Self acceptance feels strong and sure and comes from within. Labels are supposedly needed by the outside world. *If your cloak is not enough for you stop and pat yourself on the back for accepting that you want it to be stronger or fuller. You have gained in self acceptance. As you design and weave your cloak let the magic that surrounds you give you help and ideas. May the spark be with you.

The Magic Of Owning Your Power

Everyone has the power to decide who they are. If someone makes a wrong or unjust criticism and you let it devastate you, you are giving up your power. Everyone has the power to exercise their right to take care of themselves. I once knew a woman who would rarely go to the bathroom when she had guests, no matter how long they stayed, nor would she suggest they go home. She excused her surrender of her own power by saying she hated to be hateful. Few people would go as far as she did but many do give up their power over themselves in many subtle ways without realizing it. If you take a more satisfying job but let others criticize anything about your choice you have given up your power. You could have not told them about the change or you could have stood up to their criticism. If you constantly procrastinate making changes for the better in your life you are giving up your power to have a better life. If you have tools or skills to manage you moods but turn to artificial means or methods you are giving up your power. If you are afraid of your power you may find it easy to give it up. Let the magic that surrounds you help you recognize that you do have power and that it is a glorious attribute. Enjoy and use the power over your life. May the spark be with you.

Balance

Things that don't move can be balanced. But our lives need to flow forward in balance. We have different forces in play, some of which are opposed to each other, and so we have to work for that balance. One of the most common ways of getting out of balance is when our drive for achievement is in opposition to our need for self appreciation. It is easy to get upset with ourselves if we are not achieving at the rate or in the way we wish for. That dissatisfaction can be helpful at times, giving us an incentive to try hard enough to gain the goals we want. But it can also be destructive. We have to remember not to 'beat up on ourselves'. One way we can balance the drive to achieve with the need to be proud of ourselves is to more fully appreciate what we have done. There are many steps to accomplish in each task. Give yourself credit for each one of those. If you drove across the city safely, that is a major accomplishment. Many car crashes are reported on each traffic report. Give yourself credit for a good thing. If you took the trouble to face the idea of taking on a hard task, that too is good. In time you will take it on. If you continue to nurture yourself you will have the energy to finish that task. Balance is best achieved through awareness. When you go back over your day in the evening, you can look for ways that balance may have needed to be helped out, or you can appreciate the times you day was in a good balance. In the morning when you are contemplating your day you can plan on ways to ways to avoid getting out of balance. There is a business planning tool called CPM or critical path management. In any project there will be a part that will require more time, or energy or resources than other parts. It is critical that that part of the project be allocated the needed resources. Maybe you have a critical time when you will be worn out but need to face something tough. Plan ahead for ways to deal with that time of day. Hook into the energy of the magic around you to keep your life in balance. May the spark be with you.

The Magic Of Love

Love is the oil that helps the gears of life mesh and turn. When all the black and whites, all the "shoulds" are said and done, it is up to love to have the final say. If you are being in too much proximity with certain people you are going to notice their foibles. If you can also notice something to love about them it is much less likely they will drive you off the deep end. Here is where the gift of magic must be acknowledged. If a person feels threatened it is hard to love. Remember the definition of magic as "the ability to change perception at will."? A centered person, a person who has made the "I AM" decision, is not at the mercy of judgment, not burdened by a fragile ego. Do not worry about whether you are loved or not. Be aware instead of who you love. Take an adventurous risk and find something to love in or about a few other people. Let your perceptions change. Love a little, live a lot. Love doesn't have to mean being stupid, just be appreciative of what you can appreciate. Let the energy of magic give you the ability to look with new eyes on those around you. Love is magic. Let it warm your heart. May the spark be with you.

The Magic Of Experience

I have been studying people a very long time. I have found that lip service does nothing to bring about change. I have known people who have been given good mental health concepts and believe that they have learned them. A thousand classes or therapy sessions will do no good if the concepts are not truly learned. Learning must be experienced in order to actually take place. Words can cause a barrier between hearing and being. Think of someone you love or have loved. There may be words there but there are also strong memories of sensual experience, the smell of that child's skin, the warmth around your heart at the joy of seeing that person, the sensation around your eyes as you wanted to smile in remembrance of that dear one. In planning and bringing about change in yourself you must call in your ability to experience a behavior in the same way you experienced your memory of a dear one. I wrote about a fairy child crying because her brother said she looked funny when she put jewelry in her hair. To shield herself from hurt she could have imagined words coming at her and herself deflecting them or turning them into different messages. Leora could have thanked her brother for noticing her hair. A lot of change work is done in solitary times, when we have the good sense and grace to visit with ourselves. To love ourselves is to work to give ourselves a good life. If we are burdened by needing the approval of others or thinking we need labels to have self worth we will have trouble gaining the peace and joy we deserve. Take inventory to see what changes you need to bring about. Reach out for the spark of magic that abounds to give you energy and courage. Then begin a series of visualizations, bringing in as many other senses as you can, about making the change you need. I need to become more active. I will picture myself walking in a variety of situations as vividly as I can. I will do this frequently. I will also "experience" myself after I have accomplished the goals I set for myself and enjoy the sense of achievement I feel. I will let the spark be with me. May you also find ways to experience the changes you need to make. May the spark be with you.

Poppa Magic

A few posts ago I wrote about Momma Magic as the abundance of tips, advice and help you could get from other people and our society to make life a bit more comfortable and a little easier. Momma after all is the source of nurture. The father, or poppa, on the other hand, leads the child out into the world. Poppa Magic is about preparing for risk, success in the outer world, conquest, survival and such stuff. That you can manage your moods in such a way that they not interfere with your tasks, that planning is a very good skill, preparation is key, that continued trying will bring results, the value of analysis, a little risk adds spice; are all examples of Poppa Magic. The advice you would get from others would be a bit different but still useful. It is the Poppa that would say, "Don't sweat the small stuff and then realize that it is all small stuff." Poppa Magic urges you to put up with a bit of trouble and discomfort for an important goal. Poppa Magic says that every small craftsman like step is very important to the overall product. Pride in accomplishment, being known for good work,being trusted to bring about good results are attributes of both male and female but our society expects them to be more a male trait. Life is good whether lived on a large of small basis. Reach out for the spark of magic that will help you live life on whatever scale is right for you.
Do not worry about stereotypes. It is your life and may the spark be with you.

The Magic of "I AM"

Many times in life we will fall prey to our natural vulnerabilities. It is very hard not to judge ourselves; to wish we could describe ourselves as handsome or pretty, to say we are successful, to find an admirable label and give it to ourselves. Especially when we are forming relationships. Labels can be useful and they can be dangerous. If you can stop at I AM rather than going on to I AM A..... you will be stronger. Watch out for the pain wanting better labels will cause you. I AM. I have some friends I would like to have approve of me. However they may be human beings and will not approve of me at every moment and in every situation. Perhaps they have a life of their own to live and they cannot spend every moment giving me approval. When I am able to grab that spark of magic to help me with relationships I will reach out to find out in what ways my friend, or friends, and I will mesh. I will discover how we can give to each other in ways that is good for each of us. If I want something from my friends that does not suit them to give, I will still be thankful for the good I do receive from my friend, or friends.

Mother Magic

A few posts ago I wrote about the Greek word, temenos, which has come to mean sanctuary of a psychological nature as well as physical. Mother love is the same but more. Not only does The Mother accept and listen. The Mother also expects. You can become your own mother and that will work magic in your life. The Mother spells out the rules, over and over if needed, then shows you how to follow the necessary ones. The Mother shows you how to know when certain rules supersede the others. When you are in pain, The Mother says, 'I know. It's okay to cry. There, there' before she helps you dry your eyes. Then, when you are back on the playing field, she cheers for you again. The Mother joins in and participates and encourages you to do the same. Some people have poor mothers. Some people have good mothers but forget what they learned, so have a poor inner mother. No matter what the state of your inner mother, you can craft a more magic one. Visualize, write down, draw pictures, talk to yourself, or create some other way; but find time to visit with you inner mother. Let that nurturing part of yourself give you a spark of magic that will enrich your life.

Try Magic As Part Of Your World View

The mind set we habitually carry around strongly influences our perceptions and our actions. In order to keep from aging too rapidly it is a good idea to exercise our mind. One way is to practice using our memory by doing crossword puzzles and memorizing poetry. But it is a more challenging form of exercise to play with ideas, to look at the world in new ways, to wonder how ideas connect, or even to see if you can get or appreciate new ideas. Besides staving off dementia this can be very useful in the increased life skills you will gain.
Let me give you an example: Most people think being able to negotiate is a good skill to have. There are similarities between negotiating and doing magic, I believe. The process must not be rushed with either. The result must be pleasing and well formed. The goal is clear for the one using the skill. There must be involvement and participation. The magician/negotiator should not back off from the process before the goal is attained. This last is very important. I recently had someone call me who wanted to persuade me of a certain action. I was open to it but they couldn't explore options until the result could be well formed, they lost belief in themselves and in my good will, and gave up.
I challenge you to go forth as a magician and, loving yourself, give yourself many good experiences and good ideas.

The Best Magical Spells

I've often seen reference to spells, those words that will cause magical change. No matter if they exist or not, there is one way of using words that will have a great deal of effectiveness. Those are the self-accepting, self-encouraging words you say to yourself. Notice I put self-accepting first. That is the first key.
Everyone has a nurturing, self-encouraging part of themselves. We may need to grow it a bit if we have been around toxic people who have always criticized us. But we all can become our own mother. A good mother is accepting first and then expects the child to act in ways that are good for that child. You can do the same for yourself. It has been said that we experience adversity daily, maybe over a dozen times. We deal with it, make a big deal of it, or run away from it. In order to deal with adversity, the best way of the three to achieve success in life, we must first note our reaction. If we encounter a bad driver on the road we first note if that slowed us down, frightened us or what ever other reaction we had. Then we note if we accept that driver as one of the conditions of the road, like rain or potholes, or if we are going to overreact and mess up our own driving. It is the same in other situations. Use your words to form magical spells for yourself.
That soft voice we send to ourselves of, you can do this, you can think clearly, you can figure this out, you can get help if you need to, you can get the skills you need, you can break this problem down into smaller parts, good going, keep on trying, are all words that can become your magical spells. Do this for yourself and achieve magical results.