Can "Should" Have Magic?

The other day I was having a dreadful case of the blues.  I wouldn't have recognized a hopeful or happy thought if it had tickled my knee-caps.  It wasn't just a mood of a few minutes either.  It had hung on longer than rain in Seattle.  I knew I had to do something to get off  this slippery slope. Once a person gets on a slippery slope too far it is really hard to pull back.  I got quiet so I could figure something out and a word popped into my head.  I knew it was a message from my inner self as it was a word I don't push much.  The word was "should".  I still remember being in a graduate class, 'Techniques of Counseling' and hearing Dr. Biglin say, "Don't Should on yourself".  Then he went on to discuss the dangers of being overly self-critical.  From that moment on I tried not to over use the word 'should'.  This was in my twenties so I've had a bias against 'should' for about four decades.  Now my wise inner self was telling me to say "should"?  It certainly got my attention.  Then I realized that if I were to say 'should' right then I would be affirming my own power.  I would be working magic, by deciding on actions I could take to make my life better.  I decided I 'should' go in my bedroom and finish reorganizing my chest of drawers.  No small project.  Un-mated socks in big piles and so on.  I should do things that were good for me.  I should.  I could.  I did.  They say that freedom is doing what's good for you, even if your mother would have wanted you to do it.  I have been chanting "should", with an evil little grin on my face, from time to time ever since.  I have freedom of choice.  If I want a certain result I "should" take certain actions.  So now I suggest to all wise magicians that 'should' might be a two edged sword.  Being self-critical can be a danger. But if it serves you to use it, go ahead and do so.  You "should" have the best life you can get for yourself.  May the spark be with you.

The Magic of Watching Over

I've been waiting for the subject of this post to become clear to me for a couple of days.  On Tuesday I was driving along a residential street near my home and made a sloppy stop at a stop sign.  I was careful to look in all directions and I did put my foot on the brake before I proceeded.  But the policeman who pulled me over said it wasn't a full stop.    I only got a verbal warning and went on my way.  But I was aware that I hadn't been in tune that well.  This morning, on the same street but not yet to the stop sign, someone cut over to enter that apartment complex and I had to slam on my brakes.  I was alert, possibly because of the incident the day before, and I was able to avoid a collision. My thoughts became focused on how we have to look in all directions to watch over ourselves.  During the day I had to watch over myself in different ways.  I had to manage my moods. One example: I've been learning how to make videos from my brother and I tried to e-mail one I had done to him.  I was like a kid showing off to the kindergarten teacher.  But I didn't have it in the right format so he couldn't read it.  He e-mailed me back and told me what to do. After I had taken a big sigh I followed his instructions and was able to send it. A video I do plan on developing is to help students who have to deal with test anxiety.  I hope to be able to help them help themselves, or watch over themselves, so they can take certain tests that determine being able to get into careers of their choice.  Thinking of how nervous I got just having to face things I had to improve ( and learn how to do that several times today) made me feel sympathy for the students I work with.  They have to learn bigger chunks of subject matter and their tests are bigger.  So I hope to help them really pull up the self-nurturing ability they have in themselves.
Another thing that drew me to this subject at this time is that tomorrow (March 8th) is Women's Day. Many women find themselves in the different roles of watching over others.  This can be joyous.  I remember how wonderful it was to look in on my babies as they slept.  Watching over others can also be a burden.  When it becomes a burden we must develop our ability to administer self-care.  We can burn ourselves out if we don't.
I now want to bring up the idea of the field of magic that surrounds us that I like to talk about from time to time.
We don't have to go it all alone.  When you watch over another person or situation there will be others who are on your side.  If you allow it, there will be opportunities for this watching over to become joyous.  When you watch over yourself the same thing will happen.  Let your aura of awareness move away from a narrow focus on your goals.  That driver who nearly hit me was too narrowly focused on their goal of getting into that apartment complex.  But they were blessed in being saved from harm by my awareness.  Perhaps my stop the day before was meant to prevent the accident that could have happened today.  All I know is that it is good to be aware of your environment in many different ways.  Work you magic by watching over you world and your life.  May the spark be with you.

The Magic Of Kindness

Just thinking about an act of kindness that you have received or committed can warm your heart. It can give you that actual feeling of warmth in your core. Then you may feel the corners of your mouth go up. That is why I refer to kindness as magic. It has the extra valance of beauty or zing connected to it that gives it an extra dimension. A simple act of kindness can energize a person for a long time. A simple hug can increase our red blood cells and actually be part of the environment we need to survive. It has long been known that babies who are not touched, not cuddled enough, will not thrive. Kindness is not just a human thing. You can often view videos on You Tube about the kindnesses animals do for other animals, even if the species are different than their own. The mantra to commit random acts of kindness is a good one. A wise magician will program himself or herself to commit acts of beauty and kindness throughout the day. Scatter magic where and when you will. They are like seeds and will take root in the hearts of others. They will also make your heart glad and actually more physically healthy. Kindness pushes away stress. Kindness also pushes away fear. Kindness is an outward thing, whereas fear is an inward thing. In your joyful scattering of the seeds of kindness you will be wise to remember to be kind to yourself. Stop for a moment and listen to the song of the birds, smell the flowers, savor beauty and all that is pleasant. Then be grateful that this is part of your world. Kindness seems to be a 'karma' thing. If you are kind to the world it is likely that the world will be kind to you. So indulge in the magic of kindness. May the spark be with you.

The Magic Of Questioning Authority

I am thankful for the brave activists around the world that have made the news lately, and I am thankful for the book reviewers that have questioned the validity of some of the ideas that certain politicians are putting forward. I am thankful for the humorists that also stand up for their beliefs. There is a big difference between sovereignty and authoritarianism. When a parent, big brother, leader, elected official is willingly given power they are obligated to live up to that trust and use that power wisely. That is sovereignty. The locus of power is still with the governed. However certain heads of groups, non-profits, governments, families, and so on take power to themselves and abuse it. They become authoritarian. That power must always be questioned. If you are in a relationship and you feel that your power is diminished it probably is. Be thoughtful and brave. Many of the current demonstrators in action nowadays have not examined the issues, nor faced their own hidden agendas. It would be well for someone in their group, who is more thoughtful, to question their authority. One way to tell if someone has an authoritarian mind-set or not is to gently question a decision. (Not during crises. There are times strong decisions save lives.) If the leader enters into dialogue with you they accept you as an equal and may be worthy of your trust, or want to gain it. Leaders are valuable. Dictators are dangerous. May the spark of magic help you to keep or regain the power you deserve to live your life fully.

Divine Order

They call it divine order because it feels so heavenly when you can find your keys, your notebook or your glasses. There is one bit of folk wisdom that people have heard enough that it comes to mind like a spark of magic to give a boost against the inertia of disorganization. That bit is "A place for everything and everything in its place." Remember, however that the place must be right so that things can be put away and retrieved. That brings me to an aspect of organization that is often overlooked when people are trying to set up a room. Living in any area is a process, an active process. So type of use and frequency of use of an object has to be taken into consideration. Some objects have the sole use of being looked at. Even with those objects it is well to have them in the right place, doing the right thing. Remember that magic is well formed and that it can be done in small increments. So grab onto the spark of magic to energize yourself enough to face your need for organization. Then determine the needs for function in your area. Be creative and self nurturing but keep at it. What do you want to have close to hand? What will you be willing to go to a bit more trouble to take hold of? How will you know where things are if you can't see them immediately? What can you put somewhere else or throw away? If you keep at this in a self loving way your life will be more magical sooner that you might think.

The Magic of Passion

It's nearly Valentine's Day and we are all focused on passion, love, being connected to other people. If you are unaware of your own passions, even your deepest likes and dislikes, it will be very hard to truly connect to others. It is a good time now to contemplate the people in your life. Use your senses to appreciate them. Use your senses to know them better. Listen to their voice, feel how they move, look at them in a variety of ways. Do the same for yourself. You might even consider taking yourself on a date. Get to know yourself better. What makes you laugh? What makes you cry? Have a dialogue with yourself. If you could afford to give to every charity or cause, that got your attention, which ones would you give time and money to? What do your outer and inner self agree upon, in what ways do you need to have a dialogue in order to deepen your self knowledge? How can your inner world of rich resources help you meet the problems of the outer world? This is a designated season of love. Accept the challenge and dare to love, life, yourself, and others.