The Magic of Standing Back

So many fairy tales and movies have the magician get into a hard spot then get out of it with a swoosh of a magic wand.  Our mind set can get narrow that way.  We can believe that every discomfort can be changed by the wave of a magic wand, by getting "Mommy or Daddy" to fix it, or by throwing money at it.  But if we don't stand back from the problem we may not even know what it is that needs to be changed, or solved. Standing back also brings about a shift in the time frame. The wise magician will realize that a decent problem needs a decent amount of time to be dealt with.  I say to all wise magicians, if you need a change take the time to decide what the best change would be.  Then stand back and decide what to do.  Stand back to gain confidence and clarity about working at what you want to have happen until you get it.  I have seen people need a change but they have a pattern of showing irritation too soon, then after the blow-up, settling back into acceptance of the way things were.  I have noticed that the people around them then didn't believe they really wanted that change, so they didn't continue to help them achieve it.  Step back, look at you life, see what changes you need, see what you can do and do it.  May the spark be with you.

There is Magic in Reminders

For a very, very long time people have been reminding themselves of things.  In the Old Testament of the Bible there is a passage that says to wear blue tassels to remind yourself to do good.  Strings around the finger, notes on a calendar, alarm clocks, wake up calls are some of the ways we remind ourselves to be responsible.  But I am proposing a higher type of responsibility today.  I believe we are responsible to ourselves to love and encourage ourselves.  I believe that self appreciation is magical.  I have created what might be called an imaginary friend that I call a SHOM or Shoulder Mom.  She sits on my shoulder and tells me how wonderful I am and what a good person I am for trying to do things.  I suggest to all wise magicians out there that you could also create a way to further your self appreciation.  Perhaps you might just go over the good you have done during the day, or appreciate the pitfalls you have avoided every evening.  The possibilities are endless.  Remind yourself that you are wonderful and resourceful.  Do this often and well.  It will make your life more magical.  May the spark be with you.

The Magic of a Sentence

Sometimes the urge to call up magic to help us is because we are being fuzzy headed.  I want to remind all you wise magicians out there that using the structure of good language may really help you.  A sentence is meant to express an idea.  We all know that.  But I have students who come to me that are so busy trying to rush into myriad ideas they are not even expressing one idea clearly.  Let alone going from a well constructed sentence to building a logical and clear paragraph.  They may be trying to impress me or someone else, but they are stuck in a morass of swamp thought.  Another thing I see is awfulization.  That is a term that refers to making oneself feel bad by using terms like 'I never...' or 'I always...'  This is not clear communication because the statement is not well supported.  Such a sentence would be more grammatical even if it went something like this: "I feel like I never catch the bus on time."  But what I see is "I always miss the bus, I never catch it on time, I am always late to work." When you are feeling fuzz headed, down, lost, really in need of magic it is good to pick up one of your magic wands and work a bit of magic.  A pen is a magic wand.  Write out what you want.  Write it out over and over, modifying as you go, until you are clear about your situation and what you might try to improve it.  Use sentences that have a subject and a predicate...a noun and action or state of being. Self discipline gives you a sense of power and then the ability to call magic to you.  Simple, clear sentences will do wonders.  Write out a call to magic and enjoy better things in your life.  May the spark be with you.

Interrupting is a Magic Wand

At times the urge for Magic to come to our rescue is a recognition that we aren't happy with the way we are thinking and don't know how to get to a better place.  We may be feeling negative thoughts but know that it might be dangerous to try to supress them.  The more we deny that we want that piece of chocolate cake, the more likely we are to eat three pieces when we finally quite resisting the desire.  At times like this there is one "magic wand" that we can use.  That is humor.  If we were to imagine that piece of cake growing green hair, taking a place on a stage and singing to a funny audience, perhaps of fat Alice in Wonderland caterpillars, we might be able to get away from the desire to grab the cake and gobble it down.  Other times we can go with the desire or urge and exaggerate it until it loses its hold over us.  Whatever way we choose to move away from the darkness of not having the magic we want, is a good way.  Don't suppress.  Examine and play with the negative thought. Magic is yours.  Find your magic wands.  Use humor.  Use movement.  Take deep breaths.  Do what it takes.  Do not suffer from the lack of magic.  May the spark be with you.

The Magic of Me Chat

I couldn't quite go with "inner dialogue" for a title.  It sounded too heavy.  Magic is light and quick.  Even when the result is profound and it takes a while it still feels light and quick. So I chose Me Chat as the term for magical self talk.When you do talk things over with yourself you get a lot of good benefits.  What you perceive and learn becomes processed more fully.  Dialogue is a good term.  When two people are in dialogue they do interact on a deeper level than when they are just making small talk.  But I think that we tend to chat with ourselves on a rather constant basis.  When we find ourselves dwelling on something overly much, the little chatty part of ourselves will often come in and point that out to us.   Me Chat helps us when we are at a standstill, it helps us when we have had a set back, it helps when we are trying to energize ourselves for productivity.  Me Chat is the tool I like to use to get centered and not go off the rails.  When I feel angry or irritated Me Chat helps me identify the problem I need to deal with--why am I irritated and how do I fix it?  I feel blocked, irritated, hunting for answers a lot.  But I don't like to ever feel hopeless.  My chatty self is with me on that.  So I ask questions and lightly chat back and forth, even acknowledging when I do feel hopeless.  Somehow talking things over with my inner self has been magical for me.  Ideas come pretty easily now and they are often a good solution for things.  So I say to all wise magicians that if you feel a need for magic you should talk it over with yourself.  Good things will come to you.  May the spark be with you.

Can "Should" Have Magic?

The other day I was having a dreadful case of the blues.  I wouldn't have recognized a hopeful or happy thought if it had tickled my knee-caps.  It wasn't just a mood of a few minutes either.  It had hung on longer than rain in Seattle.  I knew I had to do something to get off  this slippery slope. Once a person gets on a slippery slope too far it is really hard to pull back.  I got quiet so I could figure something out and a word popped into my head.  I knew it was a message from my inner self as it was a word I don't push much.  The word was "should".  I still remember being in a graduate class, 'Techniques of Counseling' and hearing Dr. Biglin say, "Don't Should on yourself".  Then he went on to discuss the dangers of being overly self-critical.  From that moment on I tried not to over use the word 'should'.  This was in my twenties so I've had a bias against 'should' for about four decades.  Now my wise inner self was telling me to say "should"?  It certainly got my attention.  Then I realized that if I were to say 'should' right then I would be affirming my own power.  I would be working magic, by deciding on actions I could take to make my life better.  I decided I 'should' go in my bedroom and finish reorganizing my chest of drawers.  No small project.  Un-mated socks in big piles and so on.  I should do things that were good for me.  I should.  I could.  I did.  They say that freedom is doing what's good for you, even if your mother would have wanted you to do it.  I have been chanting "should", with an evil little grin on my face, from time to time ever since.  I have freedom of choice.  If I want a certain result I "should" take certain actions.  So now I suggest to all wise magicians that 'should' might be a two edged sword.  Being self-critical can be a danger. But if it serves you to use it, go ahead and do so.  You "should" have the best life you can get for yourself.  May the spark be with you.

The Magic of Acccountability

Last week a student who was planning on applying to the nursing program was discussing whether he was ready to take the TEAS(test of essential academic skills).  He was talking about his life and his habits of communication.  I saw a particular pattern that I thought might not be that helpful to him.  He had been telling me how stressed he was and he certainly looked stressed.  When I asked him if this particular habit was working out for him he suddenly changed his whole appearance.  He told me it wasn't and that he planned on changing.  It was amazing how much he changed in appearance and how good he told me he suddenly felt.  He decided to make the decision that was right for himself, not the one he thought someone else wanted him to make.  All I had done was help him become accountable to himself.  But it did seem to work magic in his life.
Some times we get a small or even a large wake-up call.  It is good to stop and listen to that call.  It is not helpful to just go along in the ways we always go if those ways don't work that well.  Only by judging, by being accountable, can we see and make the needed changes.  You can bring magic into your life by training yourself in mindful and purposeful thoughts and actions.  Bother to look at the moon, smell the flowers, tell your family that you love them.  Fix small problems before they become big problems.  Please the part of you that wants fulfillment.  Remember, magic is well formed.  That means that you have to craft, watch over, and nurture your life.  Be accountable for directing yourself towards happiness and goodness.  Make a difference.  May the spark be with you.

Magic And Responsibility

Responsibility is absolutely key to working magic. Now I have to pause and laugh because a visual picture or movie clip just came to me. Remember Mickey Mouse in the Sorcerer's Apprentice? He wasn't responsible about his magic and got himself into a lot of trouble. But he learned by doing. He learned he didn't have all the skills he needed. The ability to respond is a wonderful thing. The ability to decide what to respond to is also a wonderful thing. Deciding is a big part of responsibility. A person, or wise magician, can decide to delay an emotional reaction. A decision can be made to energize oneself to face an important task. A decision can be made as to how to approach a certain problem. Responsibility is basically deciding what you want to happen and doing what you can to cause that to happen. The wise magician is the one in charge. Being in charge doesn't just mean being in charge of the situation or project. You also must be in charge of yourself. You must use your critical thinking skills. One aspect of critical thinking is self regulation. You must regulate yourself by nurturing yourself when needed, by feeding yourself well, by noticing when your biases are causing you to go against your higher values, by drawing out your ideas and questions.
Some people may be afraid of the whole idea of responsibility, thinking of how hard is is to pay rent, go to work every day and so on. The wise magician will choose a task or project, such as raising a family, to be responsible for. Then the wise magician will act or respond to the needs of that situation in ways that will bring about success. Creativity, choosing happiness and hooking into the energy of magic will all be helpful in bringing about that success. Choosing to do a certain thing, or to nurture something does not need to be a burden. If it is your wholehearted choice you will find ways to get through the hard times. Magic will help. May the spark be with you.

The Magic Of Fathering

Traditionally the father is the figure that makes it safe for the child in the world and then helps the child transition to take his or her place in the world. Today is Father's Day, June 19, 2011. I think many would say that the world needs more fathers. Each wise magician can take on part of this task. What can you do to make the world safe for yourself or others? If you reflect on this concept many ideas are sure to occur, from politics, to social activities, to encouraging green living. Can you act as your own father and find a more nurturing life style for yourself? Or in acting as your own father, can you become more powerful in your world? Can you create situations in which you can act with more effect and power? Can you make your voice be heard in better ways? Reach out to the magic that surround you for wisdom and energy. Then invoke the father power in yourself, even if you are a woman. If you have decided to father yourself or someone else, take on the challenge of looking at the situation in which you or they live. What needs to be done to create a more effective member of the world? Knowledge, confidence and wisdom are character traits that can be nurtured and developed. Do your part for education, self-esteem and introspection. This can be a wonderful world. Be a wise magician and work your magic to make it so. May the spark be with you.