My magic castle

My magic castle

Saturday, March 23, 2013

The Magic of Why

If you were told to quit asking so many questions when you were a child I hope you didn't listen.  Why is a wonderfully magic word.  On one level it can lead to a lot of fun.  Asking why without expecting a scientific answer leads to a larger world of fantasy.  Why is the moon yellow?  Because it is made of cheese.  Why do I have a nose?  So I can pull it off your face and show it to you between my fingers. Why do cats purr?  They have to maintain their flying motor for the one night a year when they ride on the back of a witch's broom across the sky.
Another benefit of asking why is you do find out a lot.  Sometimes you notice something but need to focus on it a bit more.  You will be called to ask why and you will answer yourself.  But that will have gained you a fuller understanding.
When you are trying to communicate with another person you have to be very careful of how you use the word why. If you were to say, " Why are you being such a meanie?" when the person is not actually trying to be mean you may trigger them into meanness.   Labels are dangerous.  But if you were to say that you noticed they had lines on their forehead, and that they were speaking differently, you might be perceived as caring about their mood and they would welcome a chance to share. Ask why of yourself first.  Why and what.  Then find gentle ways to check it out with the other person.  I popped my husband on the arm years ago because I was brokenhearted he had to leave town.  He wrapped his arms around me in a hug before he asked me why I popped him. That made me love him more and want him to stay even more.  But the why open up magic for us. I say to all wise magicians: do ask questions.  They lead to shifts in focus and to answers.  Often the best way to question is to ask the questions of yourself.  Why and why not?  May the spark be with you.

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