My magic castle

My magic castle

Friday, December 10, 2010

The Magic Of Counter Spells-Part Two

You may be developing, or have developed, skills at blocking the negative feelings that well up inside you to zap your energy and self esteem. I wrote about the power of 'tapping' on meridians or acupressure points to help with this. These feelings are often there because of wounds from the past. It is also good to develop skill at preventing those cutting words from impacting you in the present. Some people use anger and defensive methods to stop people from spouting their anti-magic, such as shouting them down or saying 'talk to the hand'. I would like to suggest a couple of other techniques, derailing and fogging. Fogging is when you fog up the speaker's thinking by confusing them. One example is to show that you don't take their 'stuff' seriously by looking at them and saying, 'You may be right'. When they can't get a raise out of you it takes the air out of their sails. Example: 'You will never be any good,' 'You may be right'. There really is nothing they can say and you can just walk away. Derailing also messes with the other person's thinking but in a more subtle way. People tend to operate in certain sensory modalities. A visual person will speak and think visually: I see how we should do this, I view this as something we should see eye to eye on. An aural person will speak in terms of hearing or sound. A kinesthetic person will operate in terms of feeling or movement. If you can do something to derail them or switch their channel while they are running on with the hurts or insults they will lose their train of thought. A common derailing movement is to wave your hands quickly in front of their eyes. Once I was a waitress at a hotel dining room where many of the patrons wanted to tell me things, not necessarily important things, at great length. I found that if I waved my hand in front of their eyes as I served them or took away their plate they would stop talking for a minute and I could move away to serve the next patron. They would be lost in the past and my hand movement, in the present time, broke their train of thought. Many times parents manage to stop a toddler's tantrums by a quick smile and hug. The surprise and switch is very effective. Distractions can be a very effective counter-spell. So if you have people in your life who are throwing barbs and arrows at you find ways to deal with it. You are too precious to be wounded. Strengthen your armor of self esteem and self love. Then find ways to keep the barbs from piercing you. You don't need to react with insults or anger. That can back fire on you. Find counter spells like a smile, a hug, fogging or derailing and use them wisely. May the spark be with you.

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