Thursday, June 7, 2012
Can "Should" Have Magic?
The other day I was having a dreadful case of the blues. I wouldn't have recognized a hopeful or happy thought if it had tickled my knee-caps. It wasn't just a mood of a few minutes either. It had hung on longer than rain in Seattle. I knew I had to do something to get off this slippery slope. Once a person gets on a slippery slope too far it is really hard to pull back. I got quiet so I could figure something out and a word popped into my head. I knew it was a message from my inner self as it was a word I don't push much. The word was "should". I still remember being in a graduate class, 'Techniques of Counseling' and hearing Dr. Biglin say, "Don't Should on yourself". Then he went on to discuss the dangers of being overly self-critical. From that moment on I tried not to over use the word 'should'. This was in my twenties so I've had a bias against 'should' for about four decades. Now my wise inner self was telling me to say "should"? It certainly got my attention. Then I realized that if I were to say 'should' right then I would be affirming my own power. I would be working magic, by deciding on actions I could take to make my life better. I decided I 'should' go in my bedroom and finish reorganizing my chest of drawers. No small project. Un-mated socks in big piles and so on. I should do things that were good for me. I should. I could. I did. They say that freedom is doing what's good for you, even if your mother would have wanted you to do it. I have been chanting "should", with an evil little grin on my face, from time to time ever since. I have freedom of choice. If I want a certain result I "should" take certain actions. So now I suggest to all wise magicians that 'should' might be a two edged sword. Being self-critical can be a danger. But if it serves you to use it, go ahead and do so. You "should" have the best life you can get for yourself. May the spark be with you.