That's what they used to tell us when I worked in food service, it's all in the presentation. I have heard the same thing, sometimes phrased differently, in other walks of life. The presentation is the spark of magic that you can use to get your point across. Doesn't your inner self present things to you with a laugh, a jolt, or some other 'aha' way? Mine does. One period in my life I was in a very smothering situation but wasn't conscious of it until I heard myself singing the tune for 'Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater' over and over for days. I stopped and let the words finally come to mind. "Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater, Had a wife and couldn't keep her. Put her in a pumpkin shell and there he kept her very well." The message was recognized immediately. I was in a shell and needed to recognize it and get out.
Lights, color, music, humor can all help you present your caring, your ideas, your resistant, or whatever. Done lightly and smoothly what you present will get a much better response than a stumble mumble or a sledge hammer approach.
Watch for, listen for, the way your inner self will do the same for you. I have noticed that if I dream of drinking hot tea with someone they are very good friends, or will be when I get to know them better.
That spark of magic is there. Use it, notice it, appreciate it.