Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Healing takes time, but healing happens. Even if you are healing from making an embarrassing mistake. There are steps to go through for each large or mini trauma and they shouldn't be rushed. Nor should they be drawn out. Here is where I think the gyre or spiral model will be useful. There will be moments of freedom, joy, clarity, productivity but then you will fall back down into the pain. Yet each time that you come out of the trauma your rise will be higher and further. Acceptance is crucial in this process, on two levels: acceptance of the trauma and then acceptance of the ending of the trauma. Each time you see the light at the end of the tunnel, remember that you did see light. If darkness happens again, don't let yourself get caught in the tunnel. You saw light once, you will see it again. The people I know who are the most resilient have a sense of 'I am me, I am involved in the process of living my life'. The people who seem stuck, forever in some kind of pain or other seem to have an attitude of: 'I hope I have some acceptable labels, I hope I can get into a box of the perfect life and stay there'. For the people with the latter attitude I say, " If you suspect this is a picture of yourself, dare to question your assumptions". To the first group I say," I know you question your assumptions and find that which is good for yourself. Enjoy your good health."